Abah, Lin, Oked and me were at her bedside when Mak went. For me, it wasn’t as tearful as you might expect. I’ve mentally prepared myself for this. I kind of had a dry run 2 nights ago, same time.
I was alone with her when I really thought it was ‘time’. There I was sitting on a chair by the bed when she said she was in pain and told me to hold her and asked me whether I loved her. Of course I held and hugged her tightly and told her that I loved her again and again. And this went on for 10 minutes. Then, all of a sudden she stopped. She looked at me and asked “Who are you?”. Man, I really thought she saw Izrael, the Angel of Death. It still gives me goosebumps just thinking about that moment. Then, again all of a sudden and much to my relief, she calmed down and fell asleep. Just like that.
I knew then that the ‘time’ was probably getting very near. I figured we’re talking about days, rather than weeks. So, yeah, I was ready. I’m not in tears now because I’ve turned off the tears switch and I’ve had a little practice. I’m OK.
Looking back at these last few weeks, I had mixed feelings about whether I wanted Mak to stay or go. On the one hand, seeing her suffer was killing me. On the other hand, I wasn’t sure I was ready to let her go. I know most of us in the family felt that way. Either way, Mak’s gone now, a reality we must accept.
Make dua for her in your prayers. She’s done well and she’s treated us well. Some years from now, it will be our turn to be on the bed while the kids stay up trying to make us comfortable because you just can’t find that dang comfortable position. And this scene will repeat for generations to come ad infinitum as it has since the beginning of time. It was Mak’s time yesterday evening. When is your time coming? Izrael will come for you when it’s your time, whether you’re ready or not.
Make dua for Mak as you’d like your children to make dua for you.
From Him we’ve come. To Him we shall return.